I turned a breakup into an opportunity, in a healthy way.
I didn’t get my heart broken, but I did get a little bit too close to somebody who ended up not being able to show up for me in our relationship the way that I needed him to, and it really hurt. I got too caught up in how much I liked him to really pay attention to how this person wasn’t meeting my needs well before their avoidant attachment style fully shut everything down, and he gave me the ole “you deserve better” breakup line.
I can only do so much to prevent that from happening again, but the thing that I know in my heart is that if I can be strategic and focused, but also maintain my joy and my positivity while going through this, I am going to be better off in dating. If I also take the time to pay attention to patterns of the way that people do or don’t show up for me, I will be able to make a more informed decision about whether or not this person is actually a good choice for my long-term partner.
I don’t want to keep choosing people who can’t be the kind of partner I need and want – I have great friendships, a great life, and I love myself very much, but it is getting old to keep doing every part of life alone. I’m looking for my husband – I want to be with somebody that I’m excited to be with forever, a love I am a little bit afraid to lose, who makes me feel like this is the best team that I’ve ever been on.
Dating is tough. I am tougher, and now I have a tool.
When I decided to get back out there into the dating app world, I felt excited but also stressed by the overwhelming amount of information that comes with meeting new people. I sat there looking at my Hinge matches like, dang, I wish there were a way to tag someone as ‘currently dating’ or other statuses, write down key details about them, and questions I want to ask them. I really liked the idea of having a post-date recap with myself. I also wanted to start keeping track of people I unmatch with, just in case they ever reappear (and they do). So I got my ass in gear and built the Complete Dating Dashboard in Notion.
The Complete Dating Dashboard gives you one clear, emotionally aware place to organize your dating life. It helps you stay grounded and self-aware, especially when your brain wants to start building castles in the sky after a good date. There’s a space to track the people you’re talking to, complete with custom status tags and sections for green, beige, and orange flags. There’s a separate log for each date you go on, linked to the person’s profile, so you can review where you went, how you felt, and what actually happened. There are reflection prompts that gently push you to name things like, “What surprised me?” or “What would I change about this experience if I could?” There’s also a built-in post-date form that works beautifully on mobile, so you can fill it out in your car or at the coffee shop while everything is still fresh.
I use this dashboard for everything—from tracking how people show up for me emotionally, to keeping a lighthearted log of inside jokes and “wait, what was his job again?” notes. It’s helping me notice patterns in the kinds of people I’m drawn to, and the kinds of behaviors I like and dislike. The best part is that if all things work out, then one of these guys’ profiles is going to be a log of our love story and that’s the kind of nerdy romantic shit I love.
If you’re dating right now and feeling a little lost, I think this will help. If you’re dating seriously and want to stay focused without burning out, it will absolutely help. And if you’re just someone who loves organizing their life with a little wit and a lot of color-coded structure, I made this for people like us.
You can get the dashboard here. It includes the template I built, plus a full walkthrough video that’ll show you exactly how to set it up and make it yours. No Notion experience required—just honesty and a goal to make dating a little less chaotic.
Lover girls and boys, we can do this!
One of my goals this year is to keep my spirit protected and joyous while dating because it is hard – it is hard to meet people and open yourself up and be vulnerable and continue to give people a chance. Building this has actually helped me detach from the situations because now it’s all data. That date didn’t go well, talking to that guy didn’t go well – okay, write it down and move on. But what I’m never gonna do is let bad experiences make me be less of the amazing person that I am. I can just take better notes.
If you end up using it, please tell me how it goes. Whether it helps you clarify your standards, date way better people after a breakup, or meet someone incredible, I want to know. ESPECIALLY if it helps you find the most amazing partner you’ve ever had – you definitely better tell me.
